She tossed and turned all night. She could not sleep. The same thoughts permeated her heart, and her mind was filled with visions.
“Lord,” she prayed. “What does this mean? Is this dream from you? Is this what you really want me to do?”
The answer was soft. Like a message placed in her heart for only her to hear. “I’ve put dreams and hopes in your soul before you were a born, visions you had as a child. Have faith.”
“But Lord, I don’t know if I can do this? What if people don’t understand? What if they-”
“Where is your faith? Who is your master?”
“Lord can’t you fix me first? Make me better, make me worthy, take away my weakness, so that others can be receptive, so that others can be moved, so they can understand. So they won’t reject me – uh, um, I mean You.”
“My child, you must decrease for Me to increase. Have the faith that I can work through you as you are completing the work I have placed in your heart. Have faith that I will put the words in you, that I will be with you as I was with Moses. My power is made strong in your weakness. I give you the spirit of wisdom, understanding, counsel, and of power. My grace is sufficient.”
“But God, I am so not cut out for this. No one really does this. Shouldn’t I try to be more like -”
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid, for I will be with you wherever you go! You are as I made you, I made you for this purpose. No one has done this because you were made to.”
Silence. She breathed in heavily, her heart pounding with the intensity of His words, His assurance. She was in the pressing place, but the only one pressing was herself, her own lack of abandonment for His ability. His presence was silken, soothing, and slowly she let Him take her guard and give her His. She let her breath out, slowly.
“I’ll try to do it God, though I’m not sure where to start or go.”
“At the beginning. Follow Me, I am the Way.”